Where’s the Hope in a Squatter Camp?

I have never seen anything like a squatter camp. To call it a slum is an understatement. Rows upon rows upon rows of houses line dirt roads. These houses are not like those my naive, born and raised in the suburbs eyes are used to. The walls made from scrap metal, cardboard, or whatever is on hand. An entire family huddles together in a room smaller than the bedroom I had to myself as a young child. Roofs are held down with weights- sometimes bricks or rocks, and at least once a wheelchair. If you happen to wander out right after a rain storm you’ll find men already up on the roof trying to repair and replace that which the rain has washed or the wind has blown. In some of the newer areas a family is lucky enough to have their own bathroom (that is a single toilet surrounded by 3 walls and a partial door) and a tap in the front yard. In other places, 8 or 9 toilets are shared by hundreds of families. Roads are lined with broken glass and garbage, and wires run across the streets to provide some houses with electricity. It’s the furthest I can imagine from my comfortable home in the US. At first glance, I labeled these people as poor, sad, and hopeless.

From training in the US and here in South Africa we’ve been told and shown that as Americans we’ll see poverty based on physical need, that is a lack of money. We are all about the physical and seldom about the spiritual. I see a family in a broken down home and immediately want to cure their physical need before even wanting to know their story. The project comes first, and building a relationship is an added bonus. But poverty does not come from a need of stuff. Poverty stems from broken relationships. Poverty continues because we’re giving out fish instead of rods and a fishing lesson. I will not alleviate poverty by building houses while ignoring the people who will fill it with life. People are not helped if I drive around with a knowledge of terrible situations and a heart full of pity, but don’t know the real story of the real people. Maybe, just maybe, I am most helpful when I seek relationships first, and give more love than stuff. I will not be naive enough to say that the physical need is irrelevant, but maybe our focus in missions needs to be shifted. Maybe instead of seeing this place as hopeless, I need to see the opportunity for growth.

My first glimpse of hope came from Leonard, an older man living with his wife, their adult son, and their young daughter in a home in the squatter camp. We had the privledge of getting to speak to them and getting to see their home. Leonard is a follower of Jesus Christ. He sews. They have a garden where they grow spinach. Although they live among extreme poverty, in a house I wouldn’t have even considered to be fit to house garden tools, Leonard and his wife greeted us as old friends with a huge smile and a strong hug. Leonard is rich in his faith and continues to pray for his neighbors through all circumstances. Leonard invited us to pray with him, that we might encourage each other. I felt the presence of God more in that small room, filled with love and prayer, than I ever have in a church. Because of the love of Christ that radiates from Leonard’s life, I see hope.

The next time we visited the squatter camp, we went to play with kids. I swear if you ever want to find kids in any sort of neighborhood, walk up and down the streets while bouncing a soccer ball. Magical. As we played with the kids, with the help of local Bible School students (all young adults) in both guidance and translation, the joy was undeniable. Although most kids didn’t speak a lick of English and our Afrikaans went as far as “dankie” (“thank you”… and I’m not even confident on the spelling…) we laughed and smiled and played. At one point, a curly-headed little girl started holding my hand. She didn’t let go. I don’t know her name, or her story, or her favorite color, or even if she knows the name “Jesus”, but I know that at least for a while she felt safe holding my hand. I know I gave her nothing but love, and smiles, and someone to hold on to. I know she smiled and laughed and played. I am confident that her smile is the hope for a brighter future. Amidst a seemingly hopeless situation, where poverty is the norm and homes fall apart, my heart was filled with hope from the beautiful smiles of beautiful African children.

I entered the squatter camp for the first time overwhelmed by the situation and apparant need. I felt guilty for all I have, and discouraged by what I couldn’t give. To be honest, I’m still struggling with that. Initially I thought I was in a place where darkness reigned and hope was a foreign word. I am grateful to say I’ve been proven wrong. There is love in the squatter camps. There is joy, there is Jesus, and I’m happiest to report, there is hope in the squatter camp.

“… we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God…” -Romans 5:2

Bliss

So I know that in the blogging world, I’ve been a little MIA lately…. These past 3 weeks have been indescribable. If I tried to put every experience, moment, relationship, and struggle into words, I know I’d in no way do my time here justice. There have been days where I’ve been discouraged and hurt, there have been times where I’ve questioned my sanity… but without fail, I’ve daily felt the presence of God pressing me on, whispering that I’m where I need to be. Although it’s a bit early to think about looking back on our time spent on the Rez, I am confident that besides all the friendships that I have formed, one day in particular will jump out from my memory. Telling you about that day is how I’m choosing to sum up the past three weeks.

Tuesday, July 24

Our whole team travelled to Bisti, New Mexico to spend time with people from Rodger Deal Memorial Baptist Church, who now seem like old friends. Instead of spending time serving their needs, Rhonda (the pastor’s wife and glue of the church) took us sight seeing to get a new perspective of the Rez. We started the day at a genuine trading post, stocked with everything from Coke to hand-crafted Navajo rugs to jewelry. Though it was very modernized, it gave me a view of what things could have been like not too long ago. Not to mention, this post was likely the closest semblance of a grocery stores for tens of miles.

Then we got super touristy and ventured over to 4 Corners: the place where Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, and Arizona all meet at a single spot, so you can essentially be in 4 places at once. I think if Shane West had really loved Mandy Moore in A Walk to Remember, he would have taken her there. Being in two places at once is nothing when you could be in four.

Later, we drove to Shiprock which is a giant rock formation that apparently looks like a ship. It looks like a rock to me. A really cool, big rock…. but a rock nonetheless. Anyway, people from the area believe Shiprock to be sacred, so no one climbs it. We did, however, climb the “spine” which was a trail of smaller rocks leading to Shiprock itself. We took so many goofy and awesome pictures. One of my favorite moments was when the wind just started going crazy while we were at the top of this spine. I just sat down and started giggling. Everyone looked completely ridiculous, I felt completely ridiculous, and the wind was just completely ridiculous. One of the ways I feel God comforting me and speaking to me is the wind. I don’t know if I watched Pocahontas too many times as a child or what, but I always feel closer to God in the wind. The lack of control of my body reminds me that God is really in control. The strong force that seems to come from nowhere tells me God is there always.

Standing on this giant rock formation, with 11 people I now hold so dearly, wind blowing at full force, was a blissful moment.

Unfortunately, we had to run back to the van right after that… but I remember being so overwhelmed by the thought, “I am so happy to be here. I’m so thankful and glad that each person on this team is here.” I am grateful that God allowed me to feel that, since I tend to forget to count my blessings of friendships. At that moment, I felt more completeness, blessings, and love than I think I ever have.

We went back to the church for a night of Rez Hottubbing. Rhonda, Sam (an amazing EM intern), and Leroy (pastor) filled tarp-lined produce boxes with hot water from the well. When I say this water was hot, I mean it felt like you’d turn into soup if you stayed in for too long. We tried cooling it down with frozen water bottles, we waited, & every 5 minutes a new brave soul would say, “It’s not that bad…. I’ll get in….” which resulted in 10 seconds of “Oh wow this really is hot!” Before jumping out. We were all waiting for this experience to start… but it was So. Dang. Hot. I like to think that to keep us occupied, and maybe to just show off a little bit, God whipped up one of the most beautiful sunsets I’ve ever seen. The sky looked like it was on fire. Then, the rain came. A freezing, sudden, downpour. But alas, the water was still too hot. We squealed at how cold the rain was, huddled together, and tried to get in again. Finally, Lindsey braved the heat, got in the tub, and sat down. Beast. One by one, we followed her swift movements into the water. I think I lost all feeling in my feet for a while… but I will never forget that night. It was a moment of pure joy, uninhibited laughter, and just a hint of insanity.

All in all, I’m counting myself blessed to be here. God’s been showing up in big ways, and I know he’s going to protect us on the next leg of our journey. Oh yeah…. AFRICA IN 3 DAYS!!!!! This is real life folks. Can’t. Stinkin. Wait.

Life in New Mexico

So just a little update about everything that’s happened so far:
1. I have the most incredible team. Though this might be a honeymoon phase, I’m so excited to grow, learn, and serve with these people.
2. Look up Many Waters MissionsinNew Mexico. Now. They’ve been graciously hostong us for the past few days and we are so blessed by that. I’ll be honest, I haven’t searched for them yet but I’m sure you’ll find something awesome.
3. We’ve compressed what was supposed to be a week of training into 4 days in order to go to a church that has been trying to get people to come out for 4 years. For whatever reason, every team that has signed up has fallen through. They are so excited to have us come, and we are so excited to go. We’ll be doing a VBS and just generally encouraging this small church.
4. Seriously, go look at Experience Mission’s page. They’re an incredible organization doing big things. Watch their videos on Hope and Dignity, and maybe let your perspective change. Just do it. Seriously. Now.

I think that’s all I’ve got for now! Blame spelling and typos on my Nook… definitely not me, though I’ve realized I rely on spell check way too much! Love and miss you guys! Keep us all in your prayers as we begin serving in the Navajo Nation! 🙂

Less than 24 Hours To Go!

A conversation between my roommates from last year (as I’ve been told, roughly):

Ashley: “Emily is the kind of person that would just up and go to Africa at a moments notice”

Brenna: “Oh yeah like after we graduate?”

Ashley: “No… like this year.”

Not only did this pre-move-in conversation describe me perfectly, it ended up being eerily prophetic. Either my best friend is psychic, she knows me really well, or I haven’t been completely silent about how badly I want to go to Africa… I guess any combination of the 3 could be true 🙂

The point of this being… I’m getting to live out my dream by going on this trip. Since 8th or 9th grade (that’s 5 or 6 years ago now) I’ve longed to go to Africa. I’ve begged God for Africa. He has finally called me there. While I am so excited, I’m also scared, nervous, and sad to leave the ones I love.

But my fear, my reservations, and my loss are nothing in comparison to the joy I feel in finally sacrificing part of my life for Christ’s-sake. I feel proud in boasting in the Gospel. I feel ready to grow with God and to dwell in His word. I feel Africa calling, God telling me it’s time to go, and I feel that nothing that Satan can throw at me can compete with that.

So about 12 hours from now I’m boarding a plane to Phoenix, to begin this crazy, wonderful, exciting adventure. Please keep your prayers coming for myself and my team. We’ll be training and getting to know each other at a missions site near Farmington, New Mexico from the 8-14, and then serving on a Navajo reservation until the 30th of July. I’ll be updating on here and on Facebook, so keep your eyes open 🙂 Also, I’d love get emails from you- ebostrom@wisc.edu. 

“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going. By faith he went out to live in the land of promise, as in a foreign land, living in tents with Isaac and Jacob, heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God.” -Hebrews 11:8-10

 

Numbers, Numbers, Numbers

Sometimes (all the time), I like to look for hints God might be giving me in Scripture by looking at numbers. I know that’s weird… I know you might think of that as a stretch. I think it’s cool and I feel it’s one of the biggest ways God speaks to me. For all you number-lovers out there (Hi Mom), here’s a look at some big numbers for the past few months:

0: the number of times I’ve heard the voice of God say, “Go to Africa.”

0: the number of times I’ve heard the voice of God say, “Don’t go to Africa.”

Just want to let you know… In my experience, God doesn’t yell His plans for you. He whispers. He tugs. He guides, but He never yells. That would be too easy. 🙂

3: the number of hours spent in REI looking at gear. Uff da! Yet, surprisingly fun!

5: the number of times a day that I think I must be crazy, and I have to remind myself that this is real life. .

28: the number of days until I leave for Arizona. Alright, is-this-real-life check number 6 of the day.

58: the number of individuals, couples, or families who are supporting me financially.

116: the number of dollars in the donation that reminded me of one of my favorite verses (“I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes”-Romans 1:16) & in turn one of the biggest reminders that God has always been in control of my support raising.

167: the number of days I’ll spend missing my family, friends, and dogs.

212: the number of days since I found out I had this opportunity… that’s just unreal. Makes 6 months seem like no time at all!

314: the number of dollars I have left to raise. What? That’s crazy cool! This number I had to investigate further… 

Looking at 3:14s produced some incredible verses. I urge you not to read, or take these out of context… but rather to look at what surrounds it for yourself 🙂 Yeah, that was a somewhat teacher move… Over it. Also, obviously I picked and chose 3:14 verses that spoke to me in the present–sorry Romans 3:14, you just didn’t quite cut it this time! Anyway… Lengthy, perhaps (but definitely Scripturally wonderful), here it is:

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father” -Ephesians 3:14.

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.“- Philippians 3:14.

“And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”- Colossians 3:14

“But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed.” -1 Peter 3:14

“And let our people learn to devote themselves to good works, so as to help cases of urgent need, and not be unfruitful.” -Titus 3:14

“God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” And He said, “Say this to the people of Israel, ‘I AM has sent me to you.’“”- Exodus 3:14 (Yeah, just went OT on you! Couldn’t help it… this was just too cool!)

“For we have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original confidence firm to the end.” -Hebrews 3:14

I’ve been uniquely and incredibly blessed and comforted by each of these numbers, as nerdy and lame as that sounds. I’ve been uniquely and incredibly blessed by each of you, too. My thanks will never be enough to tell you how much comfort and peace I find in knowing I have support in this adventure. You’re loved & cherished, by me, but even more so by the immeasurable God of the Universe.

One Breath at a Time

Home sweet home, eh?! I have to admit… some of this camping/outdoorsy stuff is pretty cool! Getting my tent and setting it up was an awesome experience! I’m pretty sure I’ll be a regular ol nature-loving, hippie, camping type after this! (Please, feel free to question that.) All in all, this whole day has been cool just getting miscellaneous small things for my trip (including more antibiotics than you can imagine). It was a really good day.

 Then I looked over some financial details.

Then I realized the deadline for funds that I thought was a month away is actually 6 days away.

*Insert small panic attack here*

Two thoughts immediately came to mind: “What the heck have I been reading in my mind the past 6 months?” and “I can’t do this.” I jumped to a conclusion about my own strength instead of jumping to the grace and power of God. 

I have no idea how I could have missed something this big. But I’m even more amazed that I immediately thought of what I would do, or wouldn’t be able to do, to make up for lost time. How foolish am I? I worry, yet Matthew 6:25 tells me that my Heavenly Father has me covered. I look to myself, yet John 15:4 says that apart from Jesus I can do nothing. I doubt, yet in Luke 18:27 Jesus promises that God conquers the seemingly impossible.

I’m going to get to Africa even if I don’t receive another penny from supporters, because Christ is leading me there. Though it will take a bit of a toll on my savings account, going is more important than saving. I don’t say that to get pity, or to try to tug on heartstrings, I say it as a promise to me, to you, to my team, and most importantly to God. 

Since I know I’ll be ok, since I know I’m not in danger of not being able to go… I know this panic attack/freak out/break down stems from something else. As I’ve been lazy in my fundraising, I’ve been lazy in my walk with the Lord. I’ve pushed my relationship with God to something that can wait until I’m giving all my time to serving him. I’ve let waiting get in the way of serving Him and spending time with Him now. That is what scares me the most about this: that I’ve let my faith take a beating from my own complacency. But while I’ve been pushing God to the back of my priorities list, He’s bulldozed His way to the front. He is definitely worthy of my #1 slot. This trip and this life is worthless if He’s not there. 

I’m excited to see how God uses the next 6 days. As my mom said, “I think God made this such a press on time so that when He does come through it really will be a miracle.” I love getting wisdom like that. God’s going to do big things, I’m confident in that. 

& here’s this… just because it’s great: For the Honor- Elevation Worship

45 days to go!

In honor of my current location being the Atlanta airport…. here’s a little “southern” for ya:

Y’all are awesome. 

I officially have $1,789 left to raise by July 7! Yeah, that’s still a lot of money, but WOW, I’m blown away by you! If you haven’t yet donated but would still like to… click this & follow the instructions for “Sponsor a Volunteer” 🙂 While you’re there, look around a bit; Experience Mission is doing awesome things! 

This past week has been strange, tough, and an absolute blessing (Was that correct English? Was that a contradiction? Don’t know. Don’t care). 

Strange: I’m done with school (as in the whole classroom, test, library thing… I will be doing an Independent Study!) for 9 months. I can’t even begin to understand that. I’ve been doing this whole “school” thing for the better part of the past 15 years. Stopping is weird. And uncomfortable…. but also somewhat nice. Furthermore, I’m halfway through college.. WHO LET THAT HAPPEN? Time flies guys, Time flies. 

Tough: Goodbyes. Lots, and lots, and lots of goodbyes. They’re just not fun.

An absolute blessing: As unfortunate as it is, I take my friends and family for granted so often. Saying goodbye, realizing the weirdness of this situation, shows me just how blessed I am that God has put these people into my life. Also, it’s shown me just how incredible of an opportunity I have and how the Lord has done marvelous things in my life to get me here.

Let me just share one example of a marvelous thing… a little mini-testimony of how I got where I am. We’ve gotta go back a few years though! Senior year: I was as unprepared as they come to make a college decision. I basically had my choices narrowed down to Madison and Bethel. I basically knew I was going to go to Bethel. On paper, in person, in my mind and everyone else’s, Bethel was the perfect school for me: I had friends going there, a Christian school, small class sizes, not as expensive as many private schools… yet as I toured the school (maybe 2 weeks before I had to make a choice), I knew God was calling me somewhere else.

By process of elimination, that somewhere else was Madison. I wasn’t 100% on board with Madison either (sorry to my fellow Badgers), but my best friend was going there so I knew I wouldn’t be alone.  I feel confident in saying that my faith & my relationship with God would be nowhere near where it is if I had not chosen Madison. My freshman year was tough. I was in no way seeking God in my everyday life. In fact, I reached the lowest point in my faith that I’ve ever been. While I still believed, I ignored all significance it had in my life. God broke me in ways I didn’t think I was capable of being broken. On the outside, I seemed like everything was fine; on the inside, I was hurting and lonely. I am thankful that I realized (not by my own strength) that the only thing that could repair me was running back to the open arms of God. I am thankful that God chose to take away (what I felt like was) everything but Him. I am thankful that seeking God led me to seeking serving, and led me to applying for this trip. I know that God could have renewed in strengthened my faith at Bethel, but I am thankful that He had a more magnificent plan. There is no way I would have let go of my plans willingly, there is no way I would have let go of my friends and comfort zone willingly, and thus, there is no way I would have clung to God so fervently by my own will. 

I went back to Bethel this week, and couldn’t help but think, “There is no rational reason I didn’t go here. It is the perfect school for people like me.” That’s the think about God, His plans seem irrational and His methods are unconventional… But He is always good and His plans are sovereign. 

I am thankful that God breaks me to build me, challenges me so I can grow, and takes away to give me more than I could ever imagine. 

Okay, one more thing that it seems like is on everyone’s mind: I promise to be as safe as I can. Every goodbye has included a, “Be safe.” I’m going to be honest, at times I think people have wanted to add an “or else I’ll hurt you” at the end. I’ll be safe. I’m in God’s hands & plans, and that’s the safest place I’ll ever be. While who knows what will happen, I know that God is always holding me and my future- and that’s a safe bet. 

Update

I need to share a praise. To be honest… it’s still kinda a half praise right now. 

One of my biggest fears and doubts about going on this trip has been what would happen with school. Although taking a leave of absence and re-entry would have been cake, reciprocity has been a different story. Essentially, I’d be swimming in debt at the end of school if Minnesota wouldn’t have let me claim residency there once I got back (since my parents are now in Florida). 

Although it hasn’t been something to stop me, it’s been a big worry. It’s been something I’ve attempted to give to God daily, but of course I fall short. I’m blessed to say though, even while I’m falling short with giving my problems, doubts, and worries to God, He absolutely comes through. Now, it seems like I’ll be  able to use my trip as an independent study class, which will let me graduate ON TIME and keep my current tuition status 🙂 My only obstacle remaining is finding an instructor who will supervise me, but I’m confident in God’s provision. 

On another note, I have under $3,000 left to raise in support, which is incredible because everything thus far has come from individual sponsors. I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again: I have the greatest friends and family. Love you guys! Thanks for being who you are, and loving me along the way.

He is.

My greatest desire is to be a woman after God’s heart. To want His will more than my own. To bless and worship and glorify and magnify who He is in my every action. I crave for my soul to long for Him more than life. 

But I am selfish. And impatient. And worrisome. And definitely the opposite of perfect. 

I’m trying to love the plans that God has for me, but leaving everything is a hard process. Saying goodbye is tough. Knowing that I’m following God’s timing is nerve-racking. It’s really hard for me to not try to take control of my own life. Letting go of me, and letting God take control is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

But my God is a giver. And patient. And sovereign. And perfect. And He has a plan, and He holds the world in His hands.

I can’t lose sight of knowing that this is His story and not my own.

So I pray for His will. I pray for Him to be everything I want. I pray for confidence in Him. I pray for His faithfulness to be ever evident. 

& I praise Him for staying by my side when things are hard. For loving me while I’m doubting His goodness. For forgiving me as I’m cursing Him. For allowing me to struggle with my decisions. & For letting me be a part of His story, even when I’m not confident in my own abilities. Because God is more than enough, and when I fall short, He raises me up. 

God’s Plan is Bigger Than Me.

Back last June, I had the incredible idea that I would make it through the entire Bible in a summer. Didn’t happen.  I’m still in Ezekiel. I’ve been stuck in Ezekiel for at least 2 months. It’s a long book. It’s a confusing book. It’s not one of those books that make you feel good. It’s not a book that you can read in one sitting without losing your mind (at least in my case… you might be better than I). HOWEVER, I have seen some incredible truths pour out from Ezekiel. Last night, it came in this form: